15 things you need to know if you’re running the Cardiff Half Marathon | WalesOnCraic

If you’re taking part in this weekend’s Cardiff Half Marathon, here are 15 things that you need to know before you head down to the Welsh capital.

#1 When is it?

This Sunday.

#2 What time should I be at the start?

WalesOnCraic advises that you’re there before the half marathon starts. Otherwise you’ll miss it. Or you could just nip over the fence half way round and do a quarter marathon. No one will really notice or care.

#3 What do I need to bring with me?

Some daps. And some pop if you want.

#4 Where do I stand at the start?

With all the other runners, thicko.

#5 What if I’ve got a bag? Where can I leave it?

Just hide it under a bush or something. Or get one of the other runners to carry it for you.

#6 What if I need a piss?

Just do it as you go along. People will probably not notice. They’re too busy trying to breathe. If they do notice, tell them that you have a chronic groin/sweat problem.

#7 Can I get water along the way?

Probably, yes. There should be a few convenience stores open along the way.

#8 What’s the route?

Starting at the castle, just follow everyone else. They’ll know.

#9 If I’m a lazy shit and want to watch instead, where’s best to sit?

At home. In your garden. Drinking beer.

#10 Can I run in fancy dress?

Only if you’re fat and ugly and want to use it as an excuse to cover up your wobbly bits.

#11 What if I want to quit?

No problem. Just get the next bus home. Loser.

#12 Do I get any freebies?

You get a nice pen and some tissues. That’s it.

#13 Do I get to meet Mo Farah?

If you can catch him, yes.

#14 Which roads will be closed?

Every facking one that leads into town. Commuters and shoppers will hate your guts.

#15 Where is the Runners Village?

No idea mate. Sorry.

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15 things you need to know if you’re running the Cardiff Half Marathon | WalesOnCraic

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